Voice of lived experience: Adopted young people

Part of Staying in touch: Contact after adoption > Purpose of staying in touch

Select the quick links below to explore the other sections of this topic area:

Research reviews and summaries     Lived experience: Adopted young people      Lived experience: Birth parents

In this section of short films we hear from young people about their experiences of adoption and maintaining relationships.

When adoptive parents are helped to understand that contact could help their child, they are more likely to support it. Practitioners are encouraged to share the resources on this page with adoptive parents as well as using them to promote their own professional development.

Hearing from adopted young people 

The stories we bring with us - messages for adoptive parents from adopted people 

We hear from young people who are adopted talk about loss, trauma, identity, birth family and contact. There are three films, each of which has a set of reflective questions for adoptive parents to work through. Practitioners are encouraged to share the films with the adoptive families they work with.

These films were made by PAC-UK and have been adapted by Research in Practice. A full version of the video is available, watch the full video. PAC-UK provide specialist support to all parties affected by adoption and permanency. For more information about PAC-UK visit www.pac-uk.org, or contact their advice line on 0300 1800 090 or email advice@pac-uk.org.

Film one: The adopted people in this film discuss loss, trauma, shame, transparency and identity.

Length: 11 minutes.

Reflective questions

  • What feelings and challenges do the adopted people describe? 
  • How does this make you feel as an adoptive parent? 
  • What might you do to mitigate some of the difficulties the adopted people discuss? 
  • What preparation and support would be helpful for you to help your child? 

Film two: The adopted people in this film discuss birth relatives, contact and reunion.

Length: 7 minutes.

Reflective questions

  • How do you feel about the adopted people’s descriptions of their first family?

  • What actions will you take as an adoptive parent to help your child with their feelings about their first family?

  • How might this affect the way that you approach relationships with birth relatives?

Film three: The adopted people in this film discuss growing older as an adopted person, support and self-care for adoptive parents.

Length: 9 minutes.

Reflective questions

  • How are you going to look after yourself as an adoptive parent? Why is this important? 

  • What are the key messages from adopted people to adoptive parents?

  • What additional support do you think you need from professionals to help your child going forward?

Young people talk about their experiences of different types of contact with birth relatives 

We hear from three adopted young people who talk about their experience of contact, how they and their families have managed contact and what influence it has had on their life and identity. 

All of these young people had unique experiences of contact and their needs changed over time. The contact that they had has:

  • helped them to understand why they were adopted
  • provided information about birth families
  • helped to reassure them that they were not forgotten
  • provided confirmation that their adoptive families accepted their sense of dual connection to two families.

Being involved in decisions about contact allowed the young people to have some sense of control over their lives and avoided the need to seek unplanned contact online.

The adoptive families were able to grow closer to their children by supporting them with contact and learning more about their histories.

Practitioners are encouraged to share the resources with the adoptive families they work with.

Young people talking about contact - Views and feelings

Film one: Letterbox contact

Length: 6 minutes.

 

Film two: Openness with adoptive parents

Length: 6 minutes.

Film three: Direct contact

Length: 8 minutes.

Reflective questions

  • How do you think contact has benefited these young people? Their adoptive families?

  • How has it been difficult? 

  • How have adoptive parents helped in supporting their children with maintaining relationships with their birth family? 

  • Have your views about contact with birth relatives changed as a result of watching these videos? In what ways?

Staying in touch: Contact after adoption

Supporting practitioners in practice: a resource collection of research briefings, practice guides, exercises, links to relevant research, practical tools and more.